SI BEH DU LAN~ yea... that's what i've got to say....

 

i seriously dun feel like studying for my bio prac 2ml la... feeling v lazy recently....~

 

i want more holidays... more parties... but... i think.. i'm old alr... haiz.... i've been saying that for a year... but i think it's true.... i feel tired v fast~ haha....

 

gonna take a shower soon~ and then... go study a bit.. then go slp le... 2ml mrning waking up early to study.... haiz.... stress stress stress~

 

 i miss MSE~

 

how i wish~~~~~ haiz nvm~

well.... i'm suppose to go to church today... but then.. again.... too tired to go la.. maybe i'll get motivated after this week... hehe....

 

joon came over to my house... to ask me some stuff abt economics.... but i know nuts abt it man.... i studying nursing one sia haha....

 

then.... i kinda looked for helped.... dawn's sis helped him.... hehe... we came over to her house abt... 4pm... then.. yup... kinda rot here lor hehe.... but had a great time rotting here... had dinner at her house too.... :)

 

haiz.. i think i super long nv drink le leh... i actually vomited last nite... :(

 

zouk was alrite.... not too bad.. but i left early la....

 

my legs were super pain sia... can break liao le lor haha...

 

nx time i go club i confirm wun wear high heals liao la.. haha... i make sure i dance all the way haha....

 

will be there again nx nx week.... got free tix.... yay!~

 

and yup.. jolene is finally 18 :)

 

had fun with dawn and mich.. hehe... took lots of mo liu pics hehe... and yup... i'm gonna post it up soon :)

 

think i'll be going home soon....

 

might be studying my bio 2nite... or maybe 2ml mrning... see how la....

 

tues is the test le :(

 

hope that i can make it la....

 

sometimes.... in life.. ppl just tend to misunderstand each other~

dun misunderstand.... haha... well.. i m just kinda addicted to this song... hehe... cookie jar....

 

going to zouk 2nite.... to celebrate jolene's bday.. finally she's 18...haha...

 

i'm gonna go mad 2nite... haha.. havoc ar~~ hahaha....

 

but i think i'll wun be drinking la... i want my nice nice figure leh.... drinking makes me fat~ haha....

 

this coming tues... i will have my bio test... so stress sia~.... :(

 

dad is back....

 

leaving on wed~...

 

as for me... i'll wun be going anywhere this dec... maybe a short trip? i duno... depends~

 

haiz~~~

 

jesus did listen to my prayers... thank u so much!~ amen!~

sometimes i wld really wana end my life...  but i'm afraid of pain... what kind of suicide is the best leh?

 

burning charcoal is cool... u die beautifully...

 

inject insulin to make myself go hypo??

 

hmm... jumping off the building sounds scary and i wun look good....

 

but i think it's a waste to end my life just like that....

 

i dun wana end up in hell~

 

this is one of the reason that stopped me from commiting suicide...

 

y is this thought back in my head again?

 

i thought i was out of depression alreaady?

 

i think i did.....i was out.... and alr out.....

 

seems like.. i have lots of things undone.....

 

my dreams...

 

will my dreams ever come true??

 

dreams r just dreams...

 

 

i feel lonely.....

 

no one seems to understand what i m thinking and going through....

 

some how i just refuse to share my sadness ~

 

sometimes.... i just wana find some one... to lean on a little bit.....

 

but... y? y is it so difficult??

 

it's my habit to keep probs inside me....

 

i dun wana make ppl ard me feel my sadness... i wld only want to share with them my happiness....

 

i enjoy seeing them laughing.... smiling.....

 

i wun wana share with them the shits i had been through....

 

this year is the worse year i had been through....or maybe.. there's more to come....

 

well... god... r u gonna leave me? or r u just testing me?

 

or u have alr turn ur back on me and let me rot and die?

 

i m confused~

 

god.... if u really do hear me... plz....

 

dun leave me... i need ur help... i can't go through this alone.... please dun give up on me and lead me out of this ~...

 

i m lost.. please be my light and lead me out.... amen~!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

有時候，我們捨不得一個人， 只是因爲生活裏還有對方的消息和痕跡。那麽，唯一的方法， 就是離開這些消息和痕跡~

it's raining super heavily outside now... my bro will be sending me to school later.... haiz

 

i m super stressed up now.... 2ml will be my most impt exam~~~ hope that i can make it la....

 

hope that the rain will stop soon!~ feel like jogging today.... i need to destress!~ i really need to~...

 

y? y m i still feeling so emo?

 

what's wrong with me?~

 

 

not really having a v good time recently....

 

feeling lost~

 

unhappy~

 

stressed up~

 

sad~

 

haiz~~~

 

 

addicted to this song called 根本你不懂得愛我~

 

makes me think of him~

 

prac exam is on tues~

 

god...plz~... help me get through this~ amen!~

seems like... i'll wun be seeing my bro again for the night....

 

he's just so bz over aghmmm!~

 

well.. what can i say.... we r just bz ppl~ what to do~

 

after doing my adult nursing project i'll go to bed~~ and guess he will be back only when i m in my lala land~

 

有愛情之潤的人實在是不同的~

 

幾時才能到我享受到這美好的時刻？

yea as usual... i screwed up my clinical theory and i m just counting on my practical exam which weighs 70% of the module... yes.. i must make it!!! ahhh!!!! nx week will be a havoc week... hahaha.. yea havoc!!~ haha... fri we all will be going to soeul garden for lunch.. well... to celebrate some one's bday... sat nite will be celebrating jolene's bday at ZOUK!!! how cool can this be man.. but b4 all these.. i'll have to go through lots of torture... i have a presentation to present on tomorrow... haiz... and tonight i'm gonna prepare for it... haiz....

 

i've been really bz for the past 1 week.. and i seriously dun have the time to update my blog at all.. but.. after all... my days were kinda fine.... i went out with my darling cynthia on sat... hehe.. and fri i helped my fren to choose bday present... hehe... i've been jogging quite a lot recently but i eat a lot sia... haha.. always feels hungry :(  die le la.. like that how to loose weight?? haiz... i'll be going to Zouk out in dec... hehe... the beach party everyone is waiting for!~ haha... wooooo!!!~

 

well... this fri i'll be out with cynthia again... to catch up a little bit.. and to get the tickets for Zouk out... hehe... and sat i'll be going to queensway.... hehe.... going with dawn and mich~ weekend is kinda packed.. and i gotta study for my practical test too sia.... haiz... wana die le~!

 

i've got sooo many presentations to finish up sia~ sian sian sian~~~~

 

wel... i'll be showering soon and then work on my presentation then i'll go be a pig ZZzzzZZZ

 

will be jogging again tml with gaya... wooo!!~

well... i think less than 1/3 of the class turned up for this mrning's lecture... but well... i went.. hehe... yup... drove to school this mrning... woe up late.. due to last nite's horror! oh man.. i seriously wun wana slp in the master bedroom already la...it's not that i'm scared or what la.. just got kinda irritated with IT.. fu*k it man..wun u bloody hell just leave?! arghhh!!!! but.. for a moment... i was quite scared.. coz.. i actually shouted out quite loud for my bro when i kinda felt that.. i can't move...and my whole body got so bloody numb~... and well. my bro came in and i felt the circulation of my blood back to normal... ibut my bro just walked to the bathroom... i asked him... did u hear me calling out loudly for u? he said.. no... what rubbish.. that really freaked me out la... haiz.. when will all these damn things be over??

 

anyway.... right aftre lecture... went to the track for a jog... only jogged 7 rounds today... the sun wan bloody big and hot la.. and i'm already darker haha~.. but ok la.. healthy skin colour... like it hehe~.... i think i need another 3 mths more to get my perfect shape.. and i m aiming hard for it.....

 

and yea.. my final decision.... i wun be going back to hk or anywhere this dec holidays... maybe for a weekend trip ba.. depends.. but... most likely.. staying in s'pore to rot and rot and rot..... it's raining now... and this really sucks...

 

thurs ... i'll be going out with cynthia... for a movie... and dinner ba... we've not met for..3 mths? or more?? i duno hehe.. forgot.... fri will be searching present with a friend... this sat.... i've got class gathering.... the BMC ppl... sounds fun hehe... then... sunday... I WILL BE GOING TO CHURCH!~ YES I WILL!~

 

hey can u believe it.. i totally quit drinking and clubbing man.. but.. on the 22nd.. i will be going to zouk hahaha... coz it's jolene's bday... so.. no choice la... just go lor.. but i wun be drinking...

 

2ml... i have 2 long breaks... so.. i'll be jogging with gaya on the track during the 1st break... the bloody 2 hrs break.... sounds cool ya.. hehe~... i m leading on to a healthy life style man... hhehe... i dun feel so tired so often aftre i started my jogging... feel more focus on my studies also...

 

gonna go out for a little while later to meet up a really old fren of mine... hmm... din see this fren for abt... 15 mths haha.. 1 year plus lu~ hehehe... finally we can meet up... hehe....

 

2nite... gonna chiong my pharm la... haven finish!~ haha... then.. weekend.. sat mrning i will start doing my ica stuff and on sunday or monday i will start studying for my skills theory test.,... all the best to me man!~must pass lehhh!!!

 

nx week i have exams n presentations.. this really sucks.... haiz... weekend will be a great torture for me... and nx week sat there will be a meeting for the zombies... yup.. bz days... haiz... but no matter how bz i m... i will still make time for my jogging and seeing ppl who r impt to me... haiz... bz year i can say~

 

guess.. i'll be going back to hk maybe in june nx year.. not march~

haiz... i m seriously feeling lots of pain all over my body~yesterday's elective was a bitch~! haha.... so tiring la.... did lots of work out and running.... but nvm... i'll be jogging almost everyday starting from nx week.. gonna stay in sch to jog at the track.... maybe i will jog 2.4 everyday... i really wana keep fit and i m keen abt it....

 

went out for dinner last nite.... then.. came home to kinda rest awhile b4 meeting marc for the stupid movie.. *burn after reading* well.. it's quite a funny movie la.. but i dun think it's that great after all... hehe.. had a really interesting nite last nite... went to explore nice nice houses..... i din know we kinda share the same hobby haha.. looking at nice houses.... haha... but it kinda motivate me even more.... haha....meeting joon for dinner tonight.... haiz.. maybe i will start on my stuff a little bit later.. my projects... yup... then will leave the house abt 6 .30....

 

i feel vvvv restless and tired recently... what's wrong with me? always lacking of sleep~especially those long long days of school~ it really sucks...8am to 6pm~ the standard time for school everyday.... damn damn damn~!

 

hmm... just wondering.... wondering.... will i?? would i? the answer is no.. no matter how much i still gua ju kui~

 

my cousin kinda told me some stuff abt the cup... but seems like.. no matter how things goes... there dun seem to be any chances~ 心灰意冷~感覺很失敗~！